I need to riff on integrity for a minute.
No, not the kind that you place meaning on.
You know the one where you think integrity means you are an upstanding, non-lying, non-cheating person and can prove it to the rest of society.
Most of ya’ll think that’s what integrity really is.
Being good.
Doing the right thing.
Being Moral.
Following all the 10 commandments.
I mean, hey, if you haven’t cheated on your spouse or slept with your neighbours husband or wife or both, you must be doing pretty good on the integrity scale, right?!
You aren’t in jail. Check.
You pick your weeds and cut your lawn all tidy.
Check.
Check.
Heck, you still have all your girl scout badges to remind you how awesome you are.
(No, seriously, I do have my sash in the basement….don’t make me pull it out for you!)
You are FULL of integrity.
You are the outstanding citizen and you pat yourself on the back daily for doing all the things.
You pat yourself on the back for being the ‘good girl’ or ‘good boy’.
I mean, after all, you’ve played by societies rule book for living a good life.
You went to university, got married, had a couple kids and are a contributing member of society.
OKAY.
If I keep going on like this I’m going to regurgitate yesterday’s dinner.
I’m sure from the outside to anyone that has heard of me or knows me would think I’m all the things above – FULL of INTEGRITY (for the most part!)
Great.
Fabulous.
BUT WHO THE HECK CARES?
Who placed such high meaning on the things that don’t really mean anything at the end of the day anyways?
The problem is how you’ve defined integrity your whole life.
And, it’s not your fault.
You’ve been raised by parents, grandparents, churches and religion, school systems and government organizations that have dictated to you what “integrity” ought to be.
AND now for the bubble burst…
Integrity is NOT being a good person.
Integrity is NOT living this ‘perfect’ life that everyone thinks it is.
I know this next sentence will absolutely stir another heated debate with my father, but integrity is not about right or wrong, good or righteous or following the 10 commandments or the laws of the land.
I think what most people forget as they are stuck in their right/wrong or white/black rules for living is that they forget that there is really no such thing as right or wrong.
You get to decide.
You get to decide ALL of it for your life.
That’s one TALL ORDER to fill.
And hence, most people don’t realize it and go through life flopping around by the waves that hit them, blame the waves when all they need to do is reach out their arms and swim.
Without getting too philosophical and creating another family debate on what’s right or wrong or truth or not-truth (love you Dad!) – you need to know this.
WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE RIGHT NOW IS A DIRECT REFLECTION OF THE CHOICES YOU MADE AND THE INTEGRITY YOU HAD WITH THOSE CHOICES.
If you love your life right now, great! No need to read on.
If you are like me and have MANY areas in your life where you are not where you want to be, it’s time for your SMACKDOWN or SMACKUP, in this case.
Somewhere along the way, you stopped listening to yourself.
Somewhere along the way, you let other people dictate your life.
Somewhere along the way, you let your choices and decisions be those of others and not your own.
Somewhere along the way, you gave up only because your soul felt dead, sucked out of you.
Giving up was inevitable because the life you let other people talk you into you never really wanted to have in the first place, but you did it to appease the people in your life.
“Oh, look at her. What a good wife, mom, sister, daughter, volunteer, lawn-mower and geez, can she ever cook up a storm.”
When all you wanted was to be known as the artist, the singer, the painter, the author, the teacher, the speaker, the athlete, the writer, the dancer, the comedian, the designer, the actress, the director, the social-expert, the leader, the best lover, the best mother.
But no one knows you as such.
You’ve been pulled to many ways.
Stretched to thin.
Your light is a dim flickering barely able to attract a flea, let alone a moth.
You let your integrity go.
INTEGRITY: KEEPING YOUR WORD TO YOURSELF.
Do you realize?
Do you still not get it?
That EVERYTHING you EVER WANTED is on the other side of INTEGRITY?
That EVERYTHING you EVER WANTED is on the other side of keeping your WORD to YOURSELF.
Not your mom or dad.
Not your church.
Not your peers.
Not your boss.
Not your kids.
TO YOURSELF.
FIRST.
Isn’t that just crazy.
Think about it for a minute.
What if you ate everything you ever said you were or weren’t going to eat?
Made every sales call and follow up for your business you said you were going to make?
Said “I Love You” even if you knew it wasn’t going to be returned?
Do all the things you ever said you were going to do?
Stepped out in faith in all the areas of your life and followed through?
Where would you be right now?
(Side Step: My biggest regret, if I ever had to name one – not following through with my promises to myself, my own personal integrity. This is what I would say to my younger self.)
Let me paint the picture.
You’d be a HEALTHY-FIT-SKINNY-HOT-SEXY-RICH-SUCCESSFUL-LOVING-GENEROUS-POWERHOUSE!
But before you can be that, you need to have integrity with yourself.
Then you can step into being an amazing human in all the other areas – BUT ONLY IF you first honour your word to yourself.
It doesn’t work any other way.
All the other ways will leave you stressed, tired and drained.
All the other ways will kill your spirit and suck the life right out of you and cause DIS-EASE in your body. (Yes, your body will suffer dis-ease when you are not in integrity with your soul #truthbomb What’s your body trying to tell you??)
Why?
Because you aren’t holding yourself to your higher self.
You are placing ALL THE THINGS OF LIFE before honouring your higher self.
You can call this whatever you like, but I call it the stuff God put in you (and it’s there by design on purpose).
You aren’t honouring yourself first, therefore you sure as heck aren’t honouring GOD by doing these non-soul-filling duties placed on you by man, not by GOD.
You know if you aren’t.
You know how you know?
Your soul becomes pickled.
Sour.
You scream inside.
You’ve gotten so damn good at the whole ‘smile and nod’ thing every time you are asked for something that isn’t in alignment with your true purpose.
Physically, you may just want to sleep, or eat, or drink yourself to death (or any other form of shoving down your purpose work, like too much sex or drugs…)
When you are doing your soul’s purpose work, you are excited to do the things, take on the challenges and relish what is coming your way.
The rest?
The rest can disappear or literally go to hell. (Hell being the opposite of God’s will for your life.)
It’s not for you.
It may be for someone else.
But it’s not for you.
So STOP doing the stuff that isn’t in your wheel house, isn’t your calling, isn’t your soul’s desire.
Just STOP.
You can’t live out your purpose work when you are stuck in saying ‘yes’ to all the things that cause your soul to cringe.
Start saying ‘YES’ to you.
This goes for your relationships, your health and of course, your wealth!
Every time you say you are going to do something, DO IT.
Keeping your word to yourself needs to be placed ABOVE ALL.
If you keep letting yourself down you will never….
Live Your Legacy!
xx Lisa
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